Our busy week of VBS is behind us now ~ feels like quite a while ago already! It went quite well.

The following morning we got up about 5am to go fishing. (Janique didn't want to go, so we brought her over to her cousins' house on Friday night already). I bought a fishing license so that i could be "fishing" too instead of just hanging out and watching (and wishing i could be fishing). I've never caught a fish before, so i was delighted to actually real in 5 fish (not counting the one or two that got away). Two of them were too small to keep... well, three of them actually, but one was so "caught" that by the time Jonathan & Darwin had him/her free, there wasn't enough life left to swim away, so we kept that one too. We're hoping to go back to the same spot sometime. It's not too far ~ about 1 1/2 drive.

Monday I had Logan & Mason all day. They've adjusted well here, and it sounds like they're always looking forward to coming again. That's good :-) We like them too.

Today I had my nephews (Robbie & Andrew) all day. I don't think i could do it if it wasn't for my kids. They help a LOT. In fact, they'll be getting paid for baby-sitting those days. Robbie is a busy boy, and keeps us going pretty constantly.

Thanks Vicki (and anyone else) for praying for me... I'm getting over the disappointment about the deck. We still need to finish up the last of it, but it's been so busy there just hasn't been much extra time. Tomorrow might give us a bit of time, but i'm also trying to get ready for a busy weekend through Wednesday.

I've agreed to have my sister & bil's boys over from Sat. morning til Wed. night. Good thing i have praying friends! I'm trying to plan some meals in advance (even just ideas) and then i need to go shopping. Also trying to come up with something of a schedule (just for parts of the days) to keep things a bit organized. Jonathan works Saturday & Sunday (so he won't be home to help me get everyone ready for church Sunday morning).

And then i think it's almost time that Jonathan & I have a little "get-away" for just the two of us...

Summer holidays?? Huh? What's that?? Lol...

So last week Tuesday, Jonathan's parents got here at 5:00pm ~ just after Logan & Mason's dad picked them up. They stayed until Saturday after lunch... and i was ready for the break. The deck is pretty much done, but there are a few things that we plan to change/fix. The way Jonathan's dad talks, i really was expecting a good job of the deck... but he pretty much flew by the seat of his pants, and so there are quite a few things that we'll just have to "live with" because it would be way too much to fix them all. It is a deck, and there's a possibility that if they hadn't come to help us, we might not have had a deck for another 10yrs., so i'm trying to think appreciative thoughts, but still struggling to let all the "imperfections" go. Feel free to pray for me about that.

Saturday afternoon/evening I helped serve at a wedding at our church. We've had a lot of hot weather lately, so the kitchen at church (no air conditioning) got plenty warm enough. We haven't been able to cool down our house much overnight either, so the heat and humidity has been wearing on some of us.

This week is VBS at church. We're still having heat waves. On Sunday night we were decorating (or trying to) our classroom, and i was stuck with an upstairs room. It was so stuffy/hot in there i gave up pretty quick. Besides, the sticky tac wasn't holding anyway ~ think it was too warm. It turned out that there's an extra classroom on main floor, so tomorrow we'll be in there instead. Woohoo! I've got 12 juniors in my group, so i'm thankful for my helper!

Yesterday we finally went to a friend's house for a while (over supper) to cool off ~ it was deliciously cool! I was feeling a bit sick already from all the heat (i think that's what it was)... so last night we slept downstairs ~ but of course, it doesn't sleep the same, and it's not very cool downstairs by now either.

Well, i'm getting extra chances to baby-sit. I could have my nephews Robbie & Andrew over this weekend, but Jonathan & the boys have been tentatively planning a fishing trip, and i thought it'd be nice if we could make it a family thing. Still feeling bad though that Joe will probably be going without Trudy (to Winnipeg) because they can't find sitters. (Their boys are a bit of a handful).

And my sister Mary called this evening to ask if we might have their five boys (their own three plus two foster children) for 5 days in August. Hmmm, that's a loaded question ~ lol. Since i've agreed to have Robbie & Andrew one day/week (starting next week), and with my other baby-sitting job, that one day i'd have 11 kids all day (plus my other two boys from 3:30-5;00). I'm thinking about that one... lol. Might be a chance for my kids to make a little extra money too, but we'll see...

Oh, job interview update ~ Jonathan didn't get the job. Oh well...

ok, i better go... see if it's cool enough upstairs to sleep in my bed tonight

Jonathan & I were up by about 7:30 to get to the city in time for his job interview at 8:30. (So we're tired ~ Jonathan & Darwin got home after 3:30am, and I didn't sleep well before that either). So the job ~ I guess where they need a welder is on the different job sites, so things like bridges, etc. Jonathan isn't a "heights" kind of person (and there's the weather to contend with as well ~ which he'd probably tolerate "ok")... so it doesn't look/sound like this will be the one for him.

He was able to arrange the other interview for Tuesday morning (9:30), so we'll see how that one goes. They are looking for someone with more experience, but i guess we'll see.

Our meeting with the adoption worker went ok... but it sounds like the social worker for this foster girl apparently doesn't know how the adoption stuff works. So basically, we have little to no chance of actually adopting "T" ~ at least according to the adoption worker.

I'm ok with that since i'd all but put it behind me already, but Jonathan is somewhat disappointed. He's not opposed to international adoption, so we're not totally on different pages, but he's still thinking domestic is a possibility ~ and we know that if God wants "T" in our home, He can make it happen. There is a long waiting list, and so first of all we'd have to be on that waiting list. Depending on the extent of special needs we'd be willing to accept would affect how quickly we could even get onto that waiting list. So really, if we're thinking domestic, we need to think general ~ not just this one girl.

For me, it would be enough to close that door and pursue international. That's where my heart seems to be. But i want to be sensitive to Jonathan & to the Lord's leading. So I guess we keep praying.

So that's what i typed up after the meeting... Later while talking with my sister (& Jonathan), it sounds like there is still something about being an "alternate care giver" and i'm not completely following it all, but to me it sounds like we'd be like foster parents, and if we could do that, then perhaps (BIG perhaps??) if we'd had this girl living with us for a year or so, it might be "in the best interest of the child" to keep her there. (Again, providing no one wants to adopt all three children. So i'm not sure if that's even a feasible option ~ and i have a feeling we wouldn't be well liked by the adoption people if we tried to pursue that... I dunno... keep praying.

Oh, and an update on my potential investing dream ~ the 7 houses for one good price ~ not gonna happen. I called a realtor to see if he had any info on the market in that community. He didn't really know about that, but he's been to the community, and shared a few things with me. I'm content to let it go.

Wow!

Last night Jonathan said the bull that's been in the barn (with the cows) was being shipped, and they'd be brining in a different one ~ the one that attacked the boss not that long ago. I don't get it?? It's bad enough (from my perspective) to have a bull in there at all, but when it's already proven to be somewhat dangerous, why bring him in? The night shift is of bigger concern since there's not necessarily going to be anyone else in the barn. It's not a huge comfort to me to have Darwin there with him, although it's "better than nothing." Darwin will NOT be going near the bull (except where the bull is contained on the other side of the fence). Not sure how well i'll be sleeping tonight ~ last night i was determined not to dream about bulls attacking... so i dreamed of cougars attacking ~ lol. But Jonathan might have a better idea how the bull is after the shift he's working now. Some of the bulls they've had seem to be a little more respectful when they are brought in.

Jonathan suggested going back to CoverAll (the last job he had), and I think he was near ready to submit his resume today. That makes me think he's serious about leaving the farm... because his wage wouldn't be any better there (at least not for a while).

BUT, this morning he got a call for a job interview, so that appointment is at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Then later on, we missed a call while outside (painting the boards for our new deck), so when I checked messages later, another place had called to set up an interview. I called back (since Jonathan was already at work), but ended up leaving a message and so we haven't scheduled that one yet. Two calls for interviews in one day!!! Wow! And he was beginning to think nothing would come of the resumes he'd submitted... and I was trying to adjust my attitude and just pray for God's leading with the whole job thing. But then, he doesn't have a new job yet... and i'm not sure about details either. One of them looks like they might be only for the second shift (and the pay might not be quite as good as he was expecting)... but we're excited anyway.

i'm still feeling a bit yucky today; almost like getting over a flu bug except that i didn't feel like flu yesterday. But still feeling better than yesterday.

I called Jonathan's mom last night to hopefully get a better idea when they are coming, and like usual, we talked about all kinds of other stuff too... i mentioned (when i thought it was "safe" to do so) our appointment coming up tomorrow with the adoption worker about the idea of adopting this little girl i've talked about. I was cautious with sharing information, but she still shared her well-meaning "cautions" with me, concerned about me taking on too much and informing me that i have nerve problems ~ and that really bothered me. Not willing to leave that one open like a foothold for the devil, i quickly explained to her that just because i had a breakdown does not mean that i will accept a life-time curse of nerve problems. I'm not sure if she really "got it" but i couldn't leave that door open! God has done (and is doing) so much healing in my life, i wish she could acknowledge that God DOES heal and believe with me that He will continue to heal... and/or maybe i just wish she would recognize God's leading in our lives, and trust God about some of these things that might look bigger than us... (sometimes it's hard enough for me to have that much faith).

Anyway, i guess i have a ton of work to do ~ Jonathan's parents are planning to come out next week Tuesday. We need to get the boards (& backyard) ready for building the deck ~ we started painting them today, but it's raining now. Also need to clean house and have a place ready for them (likely the boys room downstairs). My garden has also become an embarassment ~ almost nothing came up ~ except weeds. There's a THICK row of carrots (did i mention the kids planted the garden ~ lol) and three rows of potatoes (almost under weeds), my four tomato plants and one watermelon plant which likley won't get big enough soon enough to produce any fruit. And although i had the weeds pretty much cleaned out, they've come back almost with a vengance. It's been either too hot or too wet most days for me to be weeding, and then baby-sitting plays into it a bit too. The boys like me to be doing things with them, and so far i've been trying to accomodate when it's practical.

So i'm off to work...

Yesterday afternoon I accidentally dropped my mercury thermometer on the kitchen floor and it broke. I didn't take time to research exactly how serious a mercury spill can be, or how I should clean it up, so i just went with what came to mind. Using paper towel I rolled the little beads of mercury together (fortunately they didn't seem to be spread too far & wide), and rolled it onto a piece of toilet paper and tossed it in the garbage. I vacuumed the area in case there was something i missed that i couldn't see, and wiped the area with wet paper towel. Then I did some research online, and found more information than was good for me ~ lol. (Oh, and then Darwin went over the area with duct tape in case we'd missed anything, and then we double-bagged the garbage in two black garbage bags and tossed it). I thought i was doing "ok" last night, but this morning something was really "off" and i got wondering (ok, and worrying) if i was dealing with mercury poisoning. (Of course, in my case it could've been one or more of several other issues ~ which i'm thinking now it is/was). Still haven't heard back from my doctor, but i called a different "health care person" who recommended I call poison control. I was afraid of being scolded for having even had a mercury thermometer in my home, or for breaking it, or at least for not having cleaned up properly... but the lady I talked with at poison control was SO WONDERFUL! She just asked me to tell her what happened and how I dealt with it, and she said i had done very well and there shouldn't be any concern ~ except that i might want to replace the filter on our vacuum cleaner. Vacuum cleaners and brooms are NO NO's for this type of thing, but because i only vacuumed after cleaning up everything visible to my eyes, she said the risk would be so small that it wasn't a big deal. Skin contact isn't a big worry with this type of mercury, and apparently it usually isn't a problem if you swallow it either ~ it'll usually pass through. The vapors are the biggest concern... and that shouldn't be an issue if you clean it up like i did. So I'm relieved about that! Still tired and feeling a bit yucky, but hopefully it'll just clear up quickly.

I've been feeling less off-balance lately ~ PTL! I'm thinking it seems to be related to a sensitivity to cold ~ which could be due to low body temperatures (symptoms of hypothyroid ~ which may not necessarily have shown in blood work ~ check out www.wilsonssyndrome.com). I mentioned these symptoms to my homeopathic doctor and he recommended a supplement to address sensitivity to cold. I'd been charting my temperatures, and they were almost consistently low. About a week after starting the supplement my temps went up to where they should be, and I began feeling somewhat better (less off-balance, less tight muscles in the back of my head, somewhat better overall). But then again, the higher temperatures could have been hormonal (last week of cycle kind of thing). Yesterday (before my thermometer broke ~ and today with my cheap digital one) my temperatures were down again... i want to keep charting a little longer to get a bigger picture of all that.

Before I realized the homeopathics might be working, I talked with a pharmacist consultant and finally decided to go ahead with saliva hormone testing (having thought about it for a few years). I should hopefully have my results by the end of the week, or early next week.

The boys (the older two) had a chance to go fishing with "Grandma & Grandpa" last weekend and had a great time. They left Friday evening (3hr. drive to where they went) and got home a little before 11pm Saturday night. They didn't get a lot of sleep apparently, so they were tired. Oh, they each came home with two fish.

Janique had a birthday on July 3 ~ she's 11yrs. old already! How time flies! She planned her party and all ~ she had two cousins over for a sleep-over and they were here til evening on the 4th. On the 4th I also ended up having my sister's three boys and their foster baby over... so it looked a bit like a zoo by the time my two little boys (that I baby-sit) came, but it really wasn't too bad. Yesterday was our first full day with the two little boys ~ it went pretty good. I felt really complimented when their mom told me that with the previous baby-sitter, although she's a good sitter, the 4yr. old cried every time she left. Here he's anxiously waiting to come again... only cried the first day. That blessed me.

Jonathan emailed his resume (improved version) to five potential job openings, so we'll see how the Lord leads as far as that goes. He's been working afternoons & nights all weekend, and that's probably as brutal as getting up at 3am (because he only gets home after 3am now).

I got dreaming a little the other day, but not sure if it's at all practical... there's a group of 7 houses up for sale for a really good price... about 2 hours away (i'm guessing). They are currently all being rented, so the revenue makes it look like a great income/investment opportunity, but how do you manage something like that (with no experience, i'll add) from two hours away. Truth is, if we weren't so "planted" here, we "could" move out there into one of the homes (debt free if we sold our house here), and practically live off of the income of the other 6 houses). But life isn't just about money... there's friends, family, church, etc. all to consider... and we don't know anyone out there. If we knew something about revenue/rental properties, etc. it might still be worth looking into ~ having someone out there manage them for us... hmm, sure is tempting to look into it.

Jonathan called the social worker yesterday and arranged for us to meet with her on Thursday to talk about domestic adoption (the little girl I've mentioned). I've had a few mixed feelings about it, and was ready to get back on the trail of international adoption, but I want to be open to this if it is God's leading. That's the part i'm not totally sure about... seems my heart is leaning more toward Africa. But, some of that is just the questions we'd have about this particular girl and her situation too... so we'll see what we learn at the meeting.

We bought the materials to build a deck ~ finally! (That's a project that's been 10yrs. in coming ~ lol). Jonathan's parents said they want to come out and help us build a deck, so that's why we are finally getting on it. So here's hoping they come! Lol... I think we're going to stain it, so me & the kids should have lots of fun with that.

Well, it doesn't look too promising yet to get a diagnosis and/or special funding. I only talked briefly with our facilitator about that (my priority the day that i finally got to talk with her was about the year end testing that we did this year), but she said something about there being like two levels of "special needs" and that we didn't fit the category that supposedly gets the help??? Not sure i followed, and i've invited her to share the information with me that she mentioned... but i haven't heard back from her yet. I might try sending another email ~ for what it's worth.

The testing was something new for us. It's standardized testing, like the CTBS tests that I used to do in school. We did the usual year end report with portfolio, etc. for Brenden, but the other three did the testing. When i first got all the information and books, it was a bit overwhelming, but i managed to figure it all out just fine and enjoyed it (mostly). Janique got really frustrated with it ~ she doesn't really perform as well under pressure, so when the timer went and she wasn't done, it really disturbed her. I think we managed to make an ok arrangement there (allow her to finish, but make a note of where she was at when the timer went, and just score her on what she had done up to there). Then her second test, she messed up when she accidentally skipped a page, but kept going in sequence on her answer sheet. That one was a bit of a mess, and she scored poorly as a result. She did have a few good ones, but then the math tests were a real challenge for her. She's really struggling there ~ maybe more than i thought. Some of her scoring was certainly affected by the time limit, but i wonder if it might be beneficial to have her tested for a possible (mild) learning issue. (When/if we ever get there with Brenden ~ and, btw, a cousin mentioned a pediatrician that might be worth seeing... altho it likely wouldn't be an "official" diagnosis, it might be a place to begin, and it sounds like there is a support group with resources or something??). Darwin & Reagan enjoyed the testing, and both did really well overall. Darwin was a bit weak in math (which we already knew), but scored really high in most other areas (higher than i expected). Reagan shows weakness in grammer and comprehension (which i expected as well), but fine everywhere else, and especially strong in math. I'm wondering if it might be beneficial to have Janique checked for a possible (minor) learning issue.

Jonathan's workplace finally (last week) went to 3 shifts (milking)/day, so he doesn't have to get up at 3am anymore! 5am is nicer. But, they only have one person for the night shift, so it's taking a bit longer, and is more work intense. Because it's not ideal to have someone working alone, they suggested maybe our boys wanted to come and help (with post-dipping and cleaning ~ we won't send them to get cows because there is a bull in one of the groups, and it's just too dangerous for them anyway). Darwin went the first time, and was able to help some, but because he's still so short it is really too dangerous. By the time he can reach the cows (the utter), his head is too close and at risk if the cow decided to kick. Still, both Brenden & Darwin went along the second time... they got home at 3:30am. YUCK! That doesn't make it a whole lot better than the early morning shift, except that we're hoping he won't have too many night shifts. And, if he works the night, he gets the next morning off. Of course, the whole schedule is different again... another adjustment. We're curious for the end of the month to see what (if any) his raise is going to be. Not that we're expecting anything too significant. Jonathan had already told me earlier that he's decided to find something else. He's missing out on too much family life ~ when he isn't at work, he's too tired to do much. The other day the kids went to my sister's place for a few hours, so i was looking forward to some time at home with just Jonathan... he slept most of the time.

He hasn't heard back from any of the places he's applied recently (only two places, but still). Maybe it's time to follow up. And i think he might need to change his resume ~ it's heavy with his computer training, etc. and most of these jobs aren't that reliant on computer training (altho the computer skills are an asset and certainly worth mentioning). If only he wasn't always too busy at work, or too tired from work, to actually do the follow up. Today i've been really frustrated with his job again because i was anxiously waiting for him to get home this morning to discuss a bunch of things (some of them a bit time-sensitive)... and he ended up staying at work. Sometimes the unpredictability is annoying.

Adoption? Jonathan finally got to talk with the social worker about 2 weeks ago. She's not exactly sure how it all works from the adoption end of it since she works more with the fostering part, but of course, the best case senario would be to keep all three children together. I don't see that as ideal for us (long explanation), altho we haven't met the middle child, so we're not really sure what he's like. The SW doesn't really think they will all go together, but if we were trying to adopt just one or two, we could end up fostering to adopt for a year and then have to give her/them up if someone wanted all three. I tried to call our adoption worker last week, but didn't get a reply and didn't try again. I'm just not as sure about this one as Jonathan is, so i'm leaving it up to him to get the information.

My heart, i think, still seems to be turned toward Ethiopia, but it seems Jonathan is more interested in pursuing this little girl/family... so it kind of feels like maybe we're not quite on the same page at this point. Part of me is feeling a little impatient at just being in limbo, but another part of me is at peace... trusting God to work it all out in His good time. Today, with my frustration about Jonathan's job (and maybe the disappointment of him not coming home this morning), i feel like just giving up on the whole thing. But i'm pretty sure that won't happen. I think it will keep coming back until it happens (the idea of adoption).

I suggested the other night that we all pray and ask God to give us dreams of the child(ren) we should pursue adopting (more specifically, either the little girl Jonathan wants, or Ethiopian adoption). The kids didn't have any dreams that they remembered. Jonathan's dream was about this little girl, and my dream was that we were adopting a sweet 3yr.old African boy. Lol... so i'm not sure if we're any further ahead there either. I did find it interesting though that my dream was about a boy... if it had been purely based on my desires, it would've been a girl. (Did my new baby-sitting job influence me?? I'm watching two little boys ~ 2 & 4yrs. old).

I started my baby-sitting job on Tuesday. It's part-time, and it seems to be a good fit for us so far. The boys like to go from one thing to the next fairly quickly, so we'll have to find balance in that. The first day they were really clingy and didn't want their mom to leave, but the minute she was out of sight they started talking and playing, and the next day they were asking to come back.

Oh, starting in August, i'll probably be watching my sister's boys one or two days/week. Those boys keep us BUSY! I wouldn't be interested in every day, but she asked me for one day/week, and that i can probably do (if nothing else, let the kids earn some extra money ~ altho i could use it too). And this would only be until they could find a replacement for her at the pizza place so that she can be home with her boys. (Her husband is finally back to work full time, so they're managing financially ~ in fact, she said she's basically working to pay for daycare since their funding got cut due to income).

sorry this is so long... i guess i had some catching up to do

I was just looking for some info about our home school year end reporting stuff, and came across a paper from Saskatchewan Learning that was sent to us in a recent mailing from our local school division. On there I found information saying that school divisions are required to provide access to testing & diagnosis at our request. It also states that "home-based students with designated disabilities receive provincial financial support."

I'm so excited and so upset ~ excited to have the information on paper from Sask. Learning, and upset that we haven't been getting any of this in spite of having asked for it, etc. Besides that, I'm frustrated that we've been so complacent about it all this time... always just accepting what they say, and doing our best with what we have... la de da. Part of that too has been a desire to have as little "interference" as possible with our home schooling and recognizing that what they think is best for him might not be what we think is best for him, in which case, we might be better off without their help. Not sure if that makes sense, but hopefully...

Now I am ready to advocate for my son! I've sent an email to our facilitator asking if there is someone in the local school division we need to talk with, or if we should be going directly to Sask. Learning. I'm ready to go to our MP if necessary... (time for quiet little me to get out of my "middle child" personality and pretend i'm a firstborn?? lol).