On second thought...

Lol... i think i'll just pick up where we're at and not bother trying to post all my previous entries from my previous blog. It's taking me too long to get to them all, while i could just be sharing about today (and yesterday, and the last week, or two...).

Actually, it's been about a month since my last blog entry, so i'm feeling like i'm way behind already, but not much has been "happening" as far as the adoption thing is concerned anyway.

I've been dealing with some discouragement lately, although the last week has been much better again. There were several things that seemed to "come at me" in a short time that threw me off, and i think my hormones were out of balance too. I found myself tempted to just give up the idea of international adoption. I was considering handing all the papers/information over to Jonathan and telling him to just do with them whatever he wanted, but somehow i couldn't bring myself to that point. In fact, later that evening when i suggested to him what i'd been thinking earlier, he was going to just put them on the floor for the time being (this was at bed-time) ~ where i knew they'd quickly get burried under his clothes and stuff, or pushed under the bed, etc. I suggested there was a folder in the filing cabinet where he could put them if he felt like it :-) ...lol.

Several of the incidents had to do with family members, but i won't go into details. I don't think any of them had bad motives, but i still felt somewhat attacked... and so when i also had some physical issues to deal with, it all just about seemed like too much ~ like maybe adoption wouldn't be such a good thing for us.

One of the verses that came to me more than once is Galatians 5:7 "You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and ketp you from obeying the truth?" Luke 9:62 is another one that i've thought of ~ where Jesus is talking about those who put their hand to the plow and look back...

I recognized that it wasn't a good time to make any decisions, so we decided to just wait it out, and see what the next week brought.

Can't remember the exact dates, but "the next week" brought some encouragement. One of my cousins connected us with a friend of hers who has recently adopted from Ethiopia, so this lady called me. It was refreshing to talk about adoption again, and encouraging to hear her thoughts, experiences & perspectives. This lady also told me about a message board for Canadians considering (and pursuing) international adoption. That message board is a great source of encouragement and support, and has already helped me feel like we're getting back on track with things... although, a little more slowly or cautiously perhaps. Of course, part of the "slow" is that we can't really get much further without money. And we were nearly to that point anyway, where we'd be ready and just waiting for the money to be in place ~ for home study, and the retainer agreement for the agency to begin actually "working" with/for us.

Property taxes are due about this time of year (end of May for the best discount, end of June for partial discount), so since we didn't have money saved for that, it'll be a bit tight as it is. We're also planning to build a deck for our back door ~ nothing too extravagant, but still, it will cost money. Jonathan's parents are hoping to come out in June/July and his dad is hoping to help us build a deck. We don't want to say no to that kind offer (they suggested it).

We had a garage sale this last weekend, and i was hopeful that we'd make quite a bit of money there, but the turn out wasn't nearly as good as usual, so we didn't do too well. Better than nothing though.

So there's a little update on us...