Hmm... where was i at??

I don't remember for sure what i was going to mention about the adoption stuff last time, so i'll just go with where i'm at today :-)

We heard back from three of the four independent practitioners that we emailed last week. The first one that we heard back from sounds the most interested in doing our home study, so we will most likely go with her. There is one other one we might consider since she was recommended to us by another family who just adopted from Ethiopia... but i guess there's a few things we'll have to weigh out.

I'm really enjoying the international adoption message board that i was introduced too ~ it's encouraging and inspiring, and keeps me wanting to move forward with adoption. At the same time, i do have mixed emotions from time to time, but it seems that God is leading and speaking in and through so many things that we still feel like we're "on track" although the time frame isn't clear.

Jonathan applied for a different job today ~ we found a job listing in a nearby town, and it sounds/looks like something he might enjoy at a wage we would really appreciate! They are taking resumes for another week or so, and then they'll do interviews. It would be hard for him to leave the farm short-handed (he would give sufficient notice, but it's still hard to walk away from such nice people), but he's tired! Too many hours (and too early in the am) for the pay, and too many other factors that come with the territory there. One other employee just gave notice that she's leaving, so they'll be looking for someone else now too, and another employee is talking of leaving too... possibly by the end of the month as well. So if Jonathan left too soon, it would be a big blow to the farm, and we don't really want to do that either, but if this other job comes to him it would be very tempting to take it. More prayers for direction...

Actually, i've been struggling with the idea of "being content" and even just struggling to know what that really means ~ considering 1 Tim.6:8 "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." And the verses before and after that talking about the love of money, and how destructive it can be...

Does contentment always mean that we shouldn't strive for more? I know it's not just about the money... and in this situation, we're annoyed at the amount of time and energy that goes into the job. If it was our own farm where we were working at something together, and the children (or I) could be working "with" Jonathan, a 50-hour week wouldn't be a big deal. But here he is away from home so many hours of the day, and too tired when he is home, to really interact and "parent" a lot. So we all just feel like something has to give.

There are times when people say things like "that's all he's getting paid?? he should be getting at least ____!" And, "i don't know how you do it on such a small (single) income!" and i probably feed my sense of discontent and think about how poor we are... rather than recognizing that money isn't that big of a deal, and rearranging my focus. Truth is, we have a small income, and a BIG GOD! Every comment we get should be an opportunity for us to glorify God and testify to His goodness! We have everything we need and a whole lot more! We don't have everything we "want" but we have all we need. In most situations, appliances and furniture deteriorate and eventually break down, but that doesn't mean ours has to, right? The Bible also teaches us not to worry about tomorrow... tomorrow will worry about itself.

So I'm honestly not sure where "contentment" fits in the big picture here... or where I need to be at in all of it. In talking briefly with my sister earlier today, I kind of came to thinking that i just need to surrender myself and desires to God ~ and ask Him to give me contentment if this is where He wants us, or to continue to give us discontent (and direction!) if He wants us somewhere else.