Way behind again...

yikes... i didn't realize it's been so long since i've posted anything here. sorry... and to keep it simple this time, i'll just mention that i've posted on our adoption blog, so feel free to check my updates there.

I think maybe the baby is going to sleep now... i hope so. But i think i might try and sleep too ~ we've had enough late nights lately, and another busy day tomorrow.

Mixed emotions

Well, after two weeks of "doing the baby thing" i brought him in for a new placement today. This was my sister's decision to make, and while we have sure enjoyed having him, i could see where my sister was coming from, and even if it doesn't make sense on the surface, i can understand how it makes a difference for her and her healing. (Not sure if that all made sense). The hope is that when she's healed up, they'll put him back in her home.

My mixed emotions ~ i would've loved to keep him here, but we're quite committed to working hard with Brenden before completing our adoption, so i don't want to compromise too much of that when it's not necessary. I have been tired... besides having my nights broken up for feedings, etc. i've been fighting a cold for a while now... so that's made it a bit harder to function overall and i found myself spending quite a bit of time cuddling baby and caring for him (which is way more fun than housework anyway).

So when i dropped him off this morning, i was sad to leave him, and i cried when i got back to the van ~ lol. I knew i would. Then i felt the freedom, immediately followed by guilt for feeling free! How's that for confused emotions? I was out and about so often with baby that several times today while driving (i spent the rest of the day shopping ~ and enjoyed it), it felt strange/empty when i remembered there was no baby in the seat behind me.

I still think i have a heart for fostering, and now i've got another perspective. And of course it causes me to think about our adoption as well... lots of thoughts.

Well, i am super tired, need to do a little more program with Brenden (because i was gone all day), want to warm up with a hot bath, and then get to bed at a decent time.

Ahhh...

sorry to leave you hanging there for so long...

My sister finally had her surgery on Monday afternoon, and is hopefully coming home today. I haven't actually had her boys over as much as I anticipated (although i've been over there a few evenings), but we do still have the little baby with us. He's a joy! I am tired though! I'm not good at broken-up nights, and i've been getting to bet too late most nights ~ sigh. Today i have a headache to boot, so while it could've almost been a normal "school day" (after Darwin & Reagan's orthodontist appointments this morning), i'm feeling blah! Oh, little praise ~ Reagan finally got his expander taken out!!! He had it in his mouth for 2 yrs! And the dr. would've left it in longer, but he was planning to cut a piece off at each end (to make room to pull a few teeth), and it was loose, so he said to just take it out! Reagan was so relieved ~ and i was too!

Last night i took "baby" in to see a doctor in emergency (i was advised to go there rather than minor emergency because they have the pediatrician, etc.). His breathing didn't sound/look right, so i just wanted to be sure. He had bronchialitis, but he's coping well, so we'll just be observing him and hoping it clears up on it's own...

k, i might just take a bath to warm up... i'm cold!